The helpful ways to protect what is more important: your sanity
For my entire life, I have lived on the lies of a narcissist. What I thought was true was false, and the reality I saw was a delusion.
I could never get a single truth to come out of the narcissist. Even the simplest of truth was difficult for the narcissist to share.
I felt scared and completely alone.
I wanted nothing more than to have a peaceful, loving family, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me.
Growing up, I saw how the narcissist challenged others who questioned them. The fights, terror, and anger were a constant sight for me.
I fought tirelessly for years to get other family members to see what I saw in the narcissist. The lies and manipulation were almost constant — the signs were evident to me.
As I heard my family defend the narcissist, I began to feel as though I had lost touch with reality.
The truth I was showing to my family was an assault on the character of the narcissist. They were brainwashed, I was brainwashed — but I dared to challenge the narcissist head-on.
I now know what narcissism is and how I can understand the repeated flow of behavior. I learned to detach from the mess the narcissist had created and cared for myself.
Now I am in a better place, but I can see how strong the narcissist’s delusion was when I look back. Many people don’t see the signs of a narcissist, or they don’t even know what a narcissist is.
Please keep in mind that narcissism is a real disorder that affects real people. Not all narcissists are abusive, but some are.
Even if you don’t have a narcissist in your life, you may be in a problematic relationship. No matter who someone is to you, no one is allowed to make you feel inferior.
The guidance I want to share does not need to apply only to an actual narcissist, but it can work for others as well.
You don’t have to be a narcissist to have narcissistic traits — some people can be mean, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
But always take steps to protect yourself no matter what.
Keep your distance
This is the first thing to do; You cannot get safe until you are away.
Stay away from them as much as you can, separation will help you heal. This can be very difficult for some family dynamics or relationships. If you cannot keep your physical distance, then keep yourself protected.
Disengage, and try to be as disconnected as much as you can from them. I understand that this might seem mean, but remember that your happiness is essential, too.
Establish boundaries around seeing this person, and limit contact to whatever extent you are comfortable with.
Take your power back
Your power is sacred, as your power is you.
Your power is being able to express who you are without worry of judgment; it’s your overall drive and determination.
Even if the person in your life isn’t a narcissist, this can still work. Do not let someone make you feel as if they are superior to you — no one has the right to make you feel this way.
It doesn’t matter if it is your mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, aunt and uncle, or even a family friend. No one has the right to make you feel less like less of a person.
You are perfectly built, flaws and all; don’t let anyone shame you for your shining light.
Believe your truth over their lies
Your truth is important; that is something always to remember. When a narcissist lies, they are trying to protect themselves. Whatever a narcissist’s reason for lying, maybe it is essential to resist falling into questioning yourself.
Through my own experience with a narcissist, I found myself questioning my motives, actions, and even reality.
If someone in your family upsets you, and it makes you feel sad, angry, embarrassed, or any other unpleasant feeling — it’s valid.
Just because a narcissist doesn’t believe that they hurt your feelings doesn’t magically undo the hurt.
Believe yourself, hold onto your truth, and don’t ever allow anyone to make you question that. You are strong.
Know that this too shall pass
It’s hard to look back and see the faults in your relationships with someone who is narcissistic. And it’s even harder to continue to endure abuse at the hands of a narcissist.
I have dealt with a narcissistic abuser for my entire life. I am finally free of their abuse and manipulation, but I will live with the pain they have caused me for the rest of my life.
The situation you are presently in is not your forever.
One day you won’t wake up with anxiety over what they will do next.
One day you will feel completely free, and the narcissist will be nothing more than a memory.
You are so important; use these tools to help guide you to peace and happiness from a narcissist.